you can be a sweet dream, or a beautiful nightmare; either way i don't wanna wake up

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The Endless Journey

"A person is never as quiet or unrestrained as they seem. Or as good, as bad, as vulnerable, as strong, or as sweet. We are thickly layered, page by page, behind simple covers. And love - it is not the book itself, but the binding. It can either rip us apart or hold us together."

♥ The One

♥Elyn♥

9Teen.

020689.

Gemini

[23`]

Full Time Procrastinator

Avid recycler of drink cans in school.

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www.CozyCot.com

Saturday, July 22, 2006

I have a sudden bout of depression. Not because he ruined my day; but because I've been thinkin about how life has been this past 7 months. Today it dawned upon me that more than half a year has gone by; and I think I've been giving in to my emotional self so much, I've forgotten about the rest of me. Never mind that none of you may understand this. I know what I'm talking about and it helps to just let it out here.

I've been losing myself. In a bad way. I've forgotten what it's like to live, and let live. I've forgotten to just go out, kick-butt, no matter how stupid I'll end up looking. I've been to caught up in running away from pretending that some things are just better ignored. And now it's like I'm already stuck in quicksand. I've procrastinated too much; giving myself the mental image that "Aww cmon. As if it's ever gonna happen. There's always tomorrow."
Spiritually and mentally, I've shrunk to the size smaller than an atom.

When have I ever been afraid to step out and meet the world with a don't-worry-be-happy attitude? But lately I just cower with an enthusiasm of 100 below 0. Gosh, it's not nice to realize I've been killing myself for the past approximately 5 months. I've been numb all these while and now suddenly I do feel pain. Great job, Elyn.

Elyn, you make me sick. Get a life. Do something about it.

Don't solve the problem,
when danger is better.
Far away where you stock them
In cages that tether
And all the bridges you've burned,
leave you trapped off at all sides.
And now the tables do turn,
and it's all gone, what's left for you.
And when the sky is falling,
don't look outside the window.
Step back and hear I'm calling.
Give up, don't take the fast road.
It's just your doubt that binds you.
Just drop those thoughts behind you now.
Change your mind.
You let go too soon.
Sit down, you're sinking,
there's no one to watch you.
Skip town, you're thinking,
there's no one to stop you.
Don't run away,
Stop feeling fine.
It's better than your worst, your worst day.
No words to say, I'll give you mine,
and pocket all the hurt, and just stay.
Don't run away.
It's better than your worst, your worst day.

X O X O; 10:24 pm